Who We Are

  In my time as a flight attendant, there was the experience each flight of the physical effect that being airborne had on the body.  I felt heavier, my fingers swelled so that I couldn’t wear my wedding rings and my ears would fill with pressure that often didn’t clear until well after landing.  Although now I spend my days on the ground, I still experience the world through feeling and acknowledge the physical toll of the day-to-day turbulence of life. While serving the public in a grocery store, the volatile commotion in politics and the recent global pandemic has complicated all my interactions.  I have lacked grace during this season and have felt weighed down by judgement and resentment of others’ views, of their posts on social media and of their silence, for seemingly not taking the pandemic seriously, for sending their kids to school sick, for refusing to seek testing for Covid-19, for choosing not to wear a mask.  I judge myself and my actions the ...

  My husband is a teacher in our town, placing us both in active roles interacting with our community.  The atmosphere in the education system has certainly been a bumpy ride while navigating this pandemic and political landscape as well.  Between our two points of exposure, and immediately after a weekend stay in the city for my husband’s 40 th Birthday, we were the first in our subsequent workplaces to contract Covid-19.  My husband had a rapid onset and was fever-ridden for five days.  I experienced a slower burn with symptoms of sore throat and headache for six days before fever hit, followed by body aches that combined, had me bedridden for eight days.     Prior to contracting Covid-19, I hadn’t claimed a sick day from work in years.  This virus took me out like no other sickness has before.  Our kids stayed home from school for a month as we respected the isolation process, and I was heartbroken to miss my ...

    I’ve been wondering how to have grace during this season.  Not grace in theory, as a religious concept or a fleeting uttered benediction, but literal goodwill in day-to-day interactions.  The turbulent political climate and the global pandemic has sapped my soul of its empathy.  And, I have lost a great deal of trust in my community.  Never one to always see the best in others, as much as I admire the quality, however I did believe that most people care about their neighbors, particularly those in the Christian faith.  I grew up having Mark 12:31 impressed upon me, “’Love your neighbor as yourself’.  There is no commandment greater than these.”  Seeing people in the church who I thought upheld this scripture, openly support racist politics and choose their own comfort over the chance that wearing a mask may benefit another, has shattered that trust.     We have taken sides and formed alliances....

When we had settled in the new church, new neighborhood and with Elijah as a newborn, Kevin sat me down and simply said I was going to have to make friends in town. We had lived in Michigan, for about three years, but this move to SW Michigan had removed my previous life in Flint by about three hours. Kevin had been traveling back and forth between St. Joe and our apartment right up until Elijah was born. We had Elijah and then, very pragmatically, moved across the state three days later. I was reluctant to plug into anything. Not knowing what to do with a newborn child aside, church people or church life had never been a culture I related to, not because of my love or commitment for Jesus, but really because, for the most part, the Christian people I had been around since we had been married were inside of a tough, traditionalist box.    Kevin gently lays out a plan, I will attend a weekly women’s bible study that has childcare and seemingly teaches relevant curriculum. At th...

Kevin and I have known each other since my late teens, we dated, casually, I was so intimidated by him I eventually stopped returning his phone calls. My first memory of Kevin is inside of a common area of a church; we are both volunteers for an after-school program for under-resourced students. Kevin is standing around with a basketball cupped by his side. Exuding inspirational, coach-like leadership, in a nearly commercial like quality, I notice him, but I don't recall what our very first conversation was about. Forcing Kevin to go on romantic picnics on the lake and dinners downtown did not yield much of anything meaningful back from me. Kevin will say we were formally boyfriend and girlfriend, but my memory does not recall that formality either.  Mutual friendships kept us in onesie, twosie, every now and then contact. This contact was usually him rebuffing my inquiries and changing his attention toward another person. I didn’t blame him. Yet, my feeling for him stayed with me,...

  The difference between taking a chance or sitting on your hands is quite relative, but within that vacuum of relativity, a truth lies waiting. Whether or not a chance is taken or a move is rejected, the mindset of pushing forward is the bigger winner. Grind and grit are marvelous choices, indeed, brave characteristics, but as all truths fall and reside on a spectrum, so does a capacity to choose.  Finding oneself between the nooks and crannies of this universe, and all beyond, begins, not in the wind, not in one's incessant ability to bark towards audiences not listening, but where being has always resided.  He always has been and always will be, and we as a creation, are without an excuse. Yet, we are set with the yoke of light and peace. As the sun shines on our faces, so has His word. And as our hearts have made moves, left, right, or center, He has searched us all. Let Him not find a brain that knows scripture, and a heart far from those words. Let us ask to be used...

Standing next to Kevin as he told the entire congregation he was resigning from the church, because of an extramarital affair, turned the dagger in my heart clockwise. The layered nature of this entire event seems supernatural. No one had any idea what was happening beforehand, members and friends eagerly met us, as they did every Sunday morning, eager and energized to worship. Maintaining my composure as I put one foot in front of the other is not for me, or my friends, or the strangers in the sanctuary. I only hold my entire self together for Kevin. To be so broken, to fail as deep as all the oceans combined, and then walk through all of the shattered glass, to start over, with integrity, is an action I am still very much in awe of.    In the moment, I could only feel the shock in the room; I kept my eyes on Kevin the entire time. I, in no way, wanted the memory of everyone’s face to have a permanent fixture in my mind or memory.  Standing up in front of the church mean...